A Successful (?) Week

So, I’ve been doing great so far. Other than the whining. And the growling stomach. And the craving for some buffalo chicken wings. But other than that, things are going great. It’s been difficult walking into the cafeteria everyday with my friends and circling the lunch lines in search of something that would satisfy my hunger. So far, my most satisfying meal was pasta with tomato basil sauce and 10 pounds of cheese. It was a horrible day, my first “vegetarian” trip to the cafeteria, however. I almost chose to postpone my assignment when I saw corndogs- one of my favorite, greasy, meaty foods- on the grill menu. However, with a heavy heart and a determined mind, I reached for a grilled cheese. My friends think that it’s great that I’m doing something like this- they’re very supportive, but they also think I’m slightly unhinged for doing something like this as a class assignment. I’ve been assuring myself that it will be over soon, but I’m nervous for my first breakdown. I know it will come with immense amounts of guilt. Today I was feeling especially hungry. I had a quick piece of bread for breakfast, a small salad for lunch, so on my way to dinner, I was wide-eyed and my mouth was already watering. I watched my friends pile their plates with turkey sandwiches, cheeseburgers, and steak stir-fry. I was starting to get irritated having so few options while I was making my pasta bowl. My mind started to wander, and I imagined how my friend’s chicken ceaser salad must taste. I wondered how long this would last. How long would I maintain this simply for a school project?
When I arrived back in my dorm room this evening, I decided that I needed my first boost of motivation. It has been exactly a week since I began this project. I searched “vegetarian animal cruelty” on Google, and browsed the results. I found this website- http://www.chooseveg.com/- The first video that showed, called “Meet your Meat” was about 11 minutes long- of which I spent the majority of times holding back tears and continually swallowing down my pasta plate. I have heard millions of stories and facts about animal cruelty in the food industry, however it was never enough for me to stop eating meat. I always told people, “As long as I don’t see my food being killed, it still tastes good”. Unfortunately, tonight, watching that video, I saw the fear and heard the horrible cries of a baby pig getting his ears and tail ripped off while being totally conscious. I saw a cow, hanging upside down, have his throat cut while still wide awake and aware of what was going on. He kicked and thrashed while his blood showered to the floor. I almost shut it off, but I knew why I was watching this. Not because I’m a sick person, but because I need to see these images- that is why I’m doing this. And because I know I won’t look at my friend’s burger tomorrow with jealousy- but with disgust.